Cash in Your Anger

            This vocabulary stren explains how to trade-in the anger (that gets you what you don’t want) for energy to buy what really works.  A few basic mental skills will redirect aggressive energy from destructive to constructive outcomes.

            Every person in every culture throughout the world experiences anger.  We’ve all seen examples of very explosive anger.  Many persons are “loaded” but hardly outwardly express their anger.  Resentment, guilting one’s self, muscle tension (viz. backaches and headaches, teeth grinding), elevated blood pressure, and/or becoming an alcoholic or workaholic are among the many ways anger gets directed.  How do you express your anger?  Wouldn’t you like to trade in your anger for energy that really works for you?  It’s easy if you just apply what you already have.  Wow!  Anger is our most important source of wealth, if we only spend it wisely.  Here are the simple mental changes that update our thinking to thrive in our contemporary society.  

1. Substitute the word energy each time you experience what you now call anger.
2. Immediately follow your label energy with the magical problem-solving mental response:  Given this situation (which indeed may be quite unfair and unpleasant), what is most likely to get me what I want for now and the future, for me and you (or for us and them; that may also benefit the ‘other’)?  This sentence directs our thinking to see our self as a member of the larger system of which we are a part and to consider the future as well as immediate consequences of action.  Most all wise action is preceded by mental rehearsal and problem-solving.
3. Substitute the word urgency when you experience emergency and assign high, medium, or low priority.

That’s it!  Try it … it works.  Here’s why:        

            Nature, through our genes and DNA, provides us and every living creature with energy.  Energy is the stuff we use to get what we need.  Our first need is survival; otherwise we wouldn’t be here.  Nature also programs us with survival behaviors. Fight and/or flight are among our most powerfully built-in survival behaviors.  Over billions of years of evolution, nature’s way has emphasized fighting and/or running to get food, to mate and protect our young, and to keep us from becoming food. 

            In our relatively civilized society, fighting and/or running rarely get us what we want.  More often, some form of hurt or punishment is the outcome.  I know of and have personally spoken with many persons who have long, even lifetime jail terms for a single impulsive act of rage, often totally out of context with their usual behavior.  You have surely observed the negative consequences of anger in others.   Can you think of acts of anger that you wish you could take back?  Anger is a trigger-switch¹ whose most common pathway leads to nature’s pre-wired manner of processing energy to harmful aggression.  Thus anger commonly triggers the primitive mental response pattern (MRP) I call Blaming.  Blaming-out and/or Blaming-in both usually result in an emergency response to strike out, to engage in destructive physical and/or mental aggression.  What words might pop into your mind when a driver cuts you off, someone outright lies to you, or upon some injustice you currently face or have experienced?  When you make a really big mistake?   Though “standard” in primitive creatures, the pattern of need/want → arousal (frustration) → aggression → striking-out is rarely productive in our relatively civilized society.  Anger is commonly followed by aggressive acts that get us what we don’t want.  However, aggression need not be harmful!  Aggressive energy may be redirected to “do good” more so than do harm. 

            Our nurturers usually teach us to redirect our bent for physical aggression to symbolic aggression.  We learn such mental means as to blame (often our self), resent, win by “beating” others in competition, dominate and lord over others with wealth, status, titles, “rightness,” and asserting that God and/or whatever the prevailing power must be is on our side.   We learn to name our energy “anger”.  Anger (“I am angry!”) is a trigger word that sets-off our most primitive physical and/or mental means of reaction.   It commonly and effortlessly sets-off the blaming Mental Response Pattern (MRP):  Someone or something did wrong; therefore they deserve harm, and/or I did wrong and therefore I deserve harm.  Anger is thus expressed as harmful aggression.  Can you see that destructive physical and mental aggression is routinely wired into our native language and the way we think, i.e. how process information to action?  Herein is the major source of prejudice, hatred, and the direction of our creative energy to destructive aggression, including war.  So it is unless and/or until we teach ourselves a better way.
    
            We each have the opportunity to update our manner of processing information to consistently attain constructive outcomes.  Simply substitute the trigger-word energy for the trigger-word anger.  Immediately and habitually follow energy with the magical problem-solving MRP instead of the blaming MRP.  The problem-solving sentence is not magic but it works so well it will seem magical.  And once made habitual through repetition, the newer problem-solving response will appear automatically with little conscious effort.  It will replace the blaming response that becomes habitual within the native language we acquire over 16 or so years of physical and mental immaturity.   

Emergencies:  Nature has programmed our body to respond to most frustration and threat as an emergency.  Our bodies are genetically designed for immediate reflex action.  For most creatures, the automatic response of fight or flight is life-saving.  One mishap can be fatal.  Thus, our physical emergency response is powerful and ever present.   When we perceive threat, frustration, and/or need, raw energy for action is produced.  Our body responds with automatic biologic changes.  Adrenalin, sugar and “action” substances are released.   Heart rate and blood pressure increase.  Blood is diverted to muscles and our brain and away from routine maintenance issues such as digestion and sexual interest.  Irrespective of race, religion, gender, or color, we each inherit this gift from nature. 

            Since frustration is a normal part of our life’s experience and we are mentally prone to perceive stresses as threats, we can count on frequent activation of our emergency response.  Blaming, resentment, and hatred sustain our short-term red alert tension state as an ongoing unhealthy pink-alert state.  Even though our red alert is frequently triggered, virtually every experience is a false alarm!  Emergency reactions to nonemergency situations seldom get us what we want.  And maintaining a state of pink-alert may contribute to elevated blood pressure, muscle contraction pain, impaired sleep, digestive and sexual dysfunction, and/or a host of other physiologic maladies.  We best learn to update management of our inherent fight response to effectively deal with the unprecedented type of challenges we confront in our contemporary society.    

            Most unhappiness and stress is related to our manner of thinking.  Too often we are our own worst enemy.  This is very good news because it means we are in the best position to prevent what we bring on our self.  Our innate and first acquired response system, once effective, is likely to bring harm more so than relief.  I have heard many wise people say: “Don’t sweat the small issues … and almost all issues are small!”  By substituting urgent for emergency and assigning the issue high, medium, or low priority, we more efficiently and productively manage our life’s experiences.  Urgent conveys to us that the issue may be important but need not require immediate action.  Consider that the “emergency” issues we face in today’s world, such as the environment, weapons of mass destruction, poverty, religious conflict, and so on require creative problem-solving, negotiation, patience, and resources unlike the automatic fight and/or flight response applicable in primitive societies.  Our contemporary stresses are best resolved with planning, knowledge, manipulation of ideas, and mentally rehearsing alternative actions before initiating which of the alternatives we deem wisest.      

            The substitute trigger-words will be appropriate in virtually every instance.  Misdirected anger can cause irreparable harm in a very short time.  Prevention surely beats cure!  A simple word change often results in a dramatic change in perspective, meaning, interpretation, and action outcome.   Words wired to habitual pathways that stimulate rational problem-solving stimulate behaviors that support a civilized, peace-loving society.  Let’s harness the energy we commonly waste on destructive and/or nonproductive aggression to attain our desired goals.  Practice prevention by telling yourself repeatedly, “Rarely are there emergencies!” until it pops up easily when your red-alert button is pushed.  Add, “I am wise to think about this to then decide what action to take.” 

            Teaching our self to routinely recognize our anger and direct its energy using the problem-solving mental response rewards us with constructive outcomes we can enjoy throughout our lifetime.  With practice, substituting the trigger-word energy for anger, applying the problem-solving sentence, and assigning priority to dealing with your issues will become a coordinated effortless action.  Give yourself regular bonuses! – Endorse yourself with enthusiasm each time you redirect your anger to problem-solving.  Do cash in your anger for the much more valuable energy and enjoy your newfound wealth!  The strens The Mental Response Control Panel, and MRCP Step 2, explains the other mental choices available to us.  The strens on blaming will show how to avoid the most common thinking that gets us into trouble.

Global change:  As you grow skill in managing your aggressive energy, you will become a missionary of constructive aggression, a soldier in the army fighting the pervasive destructive aggression we view daily.  Progress in spreading the newer way of thinking is made one + one + one; each one, teach one. 

Summary:  Here is the simple recipe to convert destructive aggression to the energy we require to feel good and “do good.” 

            What to do: Substitute a “label” for your present emergency response that is less associated with harm than anger.  Energy is such a word; it is more suggestive of creativity than harm.  When possible, replace habitually established words that trigger harmful action such as anger, resentment, and/or anxiety² with energy!   Changing the label we assign to our high arousal experience can make a dramatic difference in our perspective.  Anger is commonly pre-wired to set off destructive aggression.   Energy (unlike anger, resentment, or anxiety) is neutral.  It conveys greater freedom of choice in directing action.  It directs our thinking to process information through a newer creative mental pathway that leads to a beneficial outcome.  This easy energy substitution can then be made a signal to automatically call forth the problem-solving sentence.    Reflective thinking is most likely to result in wise resolution of an urgent issue, more so than the harmful physical and/or mental aggression that commonly leads to escalation.  Self-mastery favors the problem-solving response, i.e. mental rehearsal of alternatives to consider long-term as well as short-term outcomes ... and wisdom to challenge impulsive blaming.  Initial attempts to break the old “anger” habit pattern will be challenging.  However, after clumsy efforts, and with practice, the newer constructive direction of energy will become automatic and effortless.

                       Periodically remind your self: real emergencies are rare.  With repetition, we can establish the habit of thinking and using the problem-solving mental response pattern (MRP) prior to impulsive action.  In our contemporary society, rage and reactive behavior most commonly reflect turning over control of our emotions to some “other,” just what we don’t want.  Our innate proneness to deal with challenges as an emergency rarely serves its original purpose.  We are wise to modify it.  Mental rehearsal applying the problem-solving sentence constructively directs our energy to both short and long-term solutions.     

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