Welcome to a newer way of thinking=ANWOT

Vignettes for self-examination

This stren illustrates by example the expression of nature and nurture as observed in persons. The examples are provided to stimulate an examination of your own early masters and your satisfaction with them.

These vignettes have been directly observed by me or related to me from reliable sources. In each, consider the forces that may be contributing to the person’s disposition.

A is a 23 y/o who struck and killed a walker while driving under the influence. His own skull was fractured and he suffered permanent brain injury. He is generally withdrawn and requires some coercion to take his medication, shower, and other basic functions. Frequently he becomes physically aggressive. His hitting of hospital staff already put two of them out of work and he has struck visitors. A judge dropped criminal charges as he was considered incompetent to stand trial. No facility wants to accept him. What explanations might you come up with to explain A’s behavior? Might he be able to control himself? How would you manage him if he were in your care?
B was a nationally acclaimed soloist. During a recording session, he so flawlessly performed his long and difficult piece that no re-recordings were needed; the symphony orchestra members gave him a standing ovation. This level of performance was characteristic. Yet much of his life was filled with depression. While others admired his skill, he was primarily preoccupied with any imperfection. At the peak of his career, he committed suicide. How do people become “perfectionistic”? In my observation, perfectionists are the most miserable people. Any thoughts about why this might be? What words might a perfectionist say to him/herself that could lead to depression?
C was a teenage hellion. She was adopted when her super-wealthy father was disappointed that his wife gave birth to a son. He insisted he have his daughter by adopting C, who was born out-of-wedlock. As one might imagine, mother favored her biologic son in ways which were quite apparent, more so when father died several years after the adoption. In a moment of trust, perhaps insight, C confessed, “I’d rather be disliked for what I do than what I am.” Could you imagine how C’s views about herself and the world about her may have developed? Need she continue to be a “hellion” the rest of her life?
D’s mom was the obvious dominating person in his family; dad would fairly be described as a pleasant, kind and obedient mouse. Mom was heard on a number of occasions to profess to D that she had made many sacrifices for his benefit, frequently suffered headaches from her efforts, and mom was indeed worthy of adoration for her altruism on his behalf. D became a very successful professional. His mom managed his office. D indeed lived his adult life devoted to his mom and remained single until his 50’s, a few years after the death of his mom. How might D escape the domination of his mom? What steps would be involved?
E was a 50+ year old black man doing a light sentence in a prison. He acknowledged he had spent most of his life in petty crime. Asked if he had any interest in going straight, he answered: “Where I grew up there were three choices. There were winos, junkies, and lackies. The wetheads were pathetic, the junkies were usually sick, and I didn’t want to spend my life having some white boss telling me what to do. I found I could hit a supermarket and walk out with $50 of stuff for a few minute’s effort, and I’ve been caught only twice in 40 years. You want me to get a job sweeping floors for $5/hour? Do you think I’m stupid?” Given his situation, what do you think of his choice of management of his life? Could you imagine what might have gone on that he didn’t follow the common “choices” of his peers?
F was born in a Jewish family. When it appeared F would die of an infection, his house servant, a Catholic, gave him “last rights.” She felt her deed would make a difference in his afterlife. The boy lived, and, according to the then custom and law of the land, he was taken from the family and placed where he could receive a proper religious upbringing. He became a priest and apparently was reasonably adjusted to his life’s career. How important was F’s “fate” in the outcome of his career? How do our customs and laws influence who and what we become?
G found no pleasure in sex. Yet she was quite sexually promiscuous. Asked why, she replied: “I need to get attention and have someone say they care for me.” Can you offer a plausible story of what experiences in her background may have contributed to her behavior?
H is a sports “historian.” He knows the most trivial information one could imagine. Ask any question and you will receive a truly enthusiastic response. A sports event on T.V. is adequate entertainment a major portion of H’s life. How might H become so involved? What might his early experience be like? Are men generally more interested in sports than women? Why might that be? Any relation to hormones? What might you expect H’s kids to be like?
I is proud to be a third-generation welfare recipient. She is 21, unmarried, never employed, and is raising four children by three different men. She is generally pretty happy in her situation but not uncommonly gets upset when she feels the “system” doesn’t provide her what she is owed. How might her background influence her demeanor? What might her future be like?
J is described by others as a stunning woman. Her figure, skin, teeth, you name it is envied by others. Yet, J is preoccupied that she doesn’t measure up. She walks around with her hand frequently over her face and tries not to smile to hide her teeth. She consults medical persons frequently to treat the “pimples” that others don’t see, and “fix” what is her current view of what isn’t right. What are the sentences she says to herself that may explain her behavior? How might she have acquired those words?
K is president of the United States. His dad held high political office and was still quite influential in the national political arena. Did K’s background “predetermine” the course of K’s endeavors? It is said that famous persons, especially entertainers, have more that the average amount of difficulty with their children. If this were so, what explanation might you offer?
L was a teenager when he “escaped” to the U.S. Members of his family had been killed or imprisoned and his family’s escape seemed only possible with the murder of guards who would prevent their passage through a checkpoint. When L arrived in the U.S. he hardly spoke the language. He learned quickly. He partly supported himself through college winning at cards which he taught himself to memorize. His “survival” skill paid off in his work career as he became very successful. Wealth did not alter his appreciation for the ordinary joys of life. How might L’s life-threatening early experience have contributed to his outlook? His manner of functioning? What part did nature play in his survival? What part his nurture? Fate and circumstance? Were they mutually supportive?
M was admitted to the hospital psychiatric unit as she was hearing voices and was convinced that she was possessed by Lucifer (the devil). She had been diagnosed as having “schizophrenia” with hallucinations. She was brought up in a very fundamentalist religious environment where it was common to enter trance states, hear voices, and speak in tongues. Her minister confirmed to M that, in his opinion, she indeed was possessed by the devil. Would you conclude M had a serious psychiatric disorder? How might M “become her own person?”
N was a 13 year old referred to therapy because of the school’s alarm over his behavior. He was described as a “bully,” a Nazi advocating the party line of killing Jews, blacks, and non-Arians. He threatened to blow up the school. The designated therapist, himself, a Jew, didn’t know if he could work with him. Some investigation revealed that N’s mom was impregnated by a lover who abandoned her soon after she became pregnant. Mom, a relatively intelligent, middle-class woman, drifted into lower and lower economic situations. In the course of her downward spiral, she was abused by a number of males and twice raped, once by a black man. The origin of N’s attitude became apparent. To what degree is N responsible for his attitude? His actions? How would you expect his adult years to turn out? What might change his views?
O was brought up in a fundamentalist religious school in a fundamentalist religious environment. His exposure to radio, newspaper, and T.V. contained information consistent with his belief that Jews and the United States were the cause of humanity’s problems. It was an easy decision to attain martyrdom and to receive the promised rewards in the hereafter by becoming a suicide bomber. Islamic practitioners do not condone murder and do not accept such acts committed under the name of Islam to represent its beliefs. Similarly, masses of people sacrificed themselves during the crusades in the name of Christ. Do the major religions advocate genocide? Do you have an explanation of why religions seem to compete more so than cooperate and practitioners through the ages have waged wars? Who or what is responsible? Is this a hopeless situation? What might change this? How could it happen? Is there anything you have to contribute?

In examples 13, 14, and 15, how would you expect “M,” “N,” and “O” to behave? What is the role of education in developing one’s character? Can you identify any universal principles or skills worthy of including in the education of all people? How effective are (might) educational programs (be) in teaching acting for the benefit of oneself AND the global community of which we are a part? Might we make a difference in teaching our self? What is the meaning of “each one, teach one.”

This “sampling” of people and their life’s situation is offered as a stimulus for you to examine your own life situation. To the questions I raise, you might pose your own. Who were and are the significant controllers of your life? Can you identify the significant persons, role models, events that make you what you are today? What is the role of what you inherited?

In another stren, I propose that you consider your life’s direction being under the control of a Board of Directors. After considering the above examples and reflecting on the significant contributors to your own disposition, can you better identify who sits at your Board? Who has the important votes? Is there an executive officer? What major policies have been set that govern your life?

Do you hold your early controllers responsible for any of your present situation? Do you waste much energy blaming anyone or anything? Are you “stuck” in any patterns of thinking, feeling, and/or acting you don’t want that you are capable of changing? Do you regularly ask “what can I do that may make things better?” “to get what I want in the short and long-term and not get what I don’t want?”

Am I stuck in the good or bad, right or wrong, black or white language of my childhood? Do I still think in the “either … or” categories of primitive thinking or am I now in the habit of thinking “both … and.” Do I deal with others from a “win/lose” perspective or “how can we all benefit.” Am I C.E.O. of my Board of Directors? some of the time? most of the time? To what degree is my life still dominated by automatic compliance with the demands of my nature and nurture? To what degree have I become my own person? Have I developed my potential for self-mastery? Do I continue to strengthen my self? To seek continued wisdom and growth?

This stren was meant to arouse energy to reflect on your self. I hope you make it a constructive endeavor.